This article provides empirical data that challenges current perceptions about the role of the family lawyer in the family breakdown discourse. It demonstrates how the dichotomous perception that family lawyers are aggressive, self-interested litigators or impartial adversarial advocates may not be well-founded. Data from this study suggests an alternative model. Acknowledging the lawyer as a subjective participant on a very complex journey with a client is a more realistic portrayal of what family lawyers do from day to day. This article focuses on lawyers understandings of being child focused, how those understandings are incorporated into their family law practice and what challenges they present. The analysis suggests that lawyers who identify as child focused often face ethical challenges that they do not feel well equipped to deal with.