Introduction: The paramedic role carries inherent risk to practitioner health, due to a combination of work characteristics and the employment practices of different organizations. Emerging evidence suggests that paramedics worldwide may face a range of negative health outcomes. The purpose of this article was to systematically review the literature of paramedic health outcomes in the Australian and New Zealand context. Methods: A systematic search of key databases and gray literature was conducted to identify all available studies reporting on quantitative health outcomes for paramedics working in Australia or New Zealand. The review was conducted using the JBI methodology for prevalence studies and uses a narrative synthesis approach to reporting. Results: There were k = 20 studies that met inclusion criteria, and most used Australian samples. Results indicated between 57.3–66.5% of paramedics studied were classified as overweight or obese, while up to 80% reported poor sleep, and 55.6% reported fatigue. Incidence rates per 100,000 full-time equivalent (FTE) included 26.62 for completed suicide, 5.46 for drug-caused death, and 9.3 for workplace fatalities. The most recent incidence per 1,000 FTE for injury compensation claims was 141.4. Conclusions: Australian and New Zealand paramedics demonstrate poor health according to several metrics. Our sample demonstrated considerably worse health than the general population or similar occupations. There is a minimal amount of trend data available; therefore, it was difficult to ascertain if rates are changing. The range of health outcomes studied was limited, and correlations between different health outcomes were rarely considered by authors. Data relating to specific rates for gender and sexuality, location of work, and First Nations status or ethnicity was often not available. SYSTEMATIC REVIEW REGISTRATION NUMBER (PROSPERO): CRD42021232196.