This study investigates the lived experiences of school leaders as they navigate the complex demands of parent engagement within the increasing accountability pressures of the neoliberal education landscape. Drawing on interviews with 12 primary school leaders across Queensland, Australia, the research explores the emotional and professional toll of managing parent expectations. Iterative data analysis applying Gadamer’s philosophical hermeneutics revealed three key themes: (1) the multifaceted leadership challenges of balancing expectations and resources; (2) significant impacts on leaders’ well-being, including emotional exhaustion and moral distress; and (3) the absence of formal training and systemic support for school leaders in managing parent interactions.

Participants described profound emotional and moral injury from the relentless demands of parent engagement, with one school leader likening it to a ‘death by a thousand cuts’. Findings underscore the urgent need for targeted professional development, clear protocols, dedicated resources, and a cultural shift towards empathy and shared responsibility in parent-school relationships. This study contributes to the growing body of research on school leaders’ experiences with parent engagement in the context of neoliberal reform mandates. While existing research explores leadership practices under neoliberal conditions, this study uniquely addresses the relational and ethical complexities of parent engagement, highlighting its critical impact on school leaders’ sustainability and the transformative potential of school-family partnerships.